Fate.....

If things could get any worse it did. People just don't seem to understand that a human's mind is not like ay other. We can't assume just by a person's actio that we can asume a persons thoughts. The possibiliteis are infinte and can not always be determined. We can never know.

I remembeed my father always saying how naive i was but really im ot naive. I'm just misunderstood. I was always misunderstood. Sometimes i even dnt know what i am doing. Cause things just hapan. We can never chage it. Yet what we can change makes little diffeence in our lives. We expect something and when we dont get it we retaliate. We fight. But really, Can we fight fate. Or are we doomed to follow it.

Dreams....

It was during one summer in the states that my father brought me my first console. A Sega Genesis. It had a 16 bit display and a 22 megahertz audio. We used to play that thing for hours. trying to beat every game that we bought but it seemed that each time i did play a game, it took me only one week to play it and the whole game was defeated.

I still can do that. I can play any game and be done by next week. Sometimes even less. It was on that summer that i began to dream. I dreamed of becoming the worlds most biggest game producer. I made games that no one could ever had made but after a while my dreams evolved into something more complicated. Instead of becoming a game producer i wanted to make a game that no one would ever think of making. I wanted to make a game in which the player was directly in it. I mean why look at a screen and push buttons when you can actually play it. It was a brilliant idea if it wasn't for just one thing.

It was totally imposable to make such a thing. The idea itself was too far-fetched. My dream ended in the year 2000......




...... on the day i came here.....

Money....

You may have encountered a situation where your parents and teachers tell you about going to school and getting good grades so that one day you can get a good job with a good pay.......
In short what i mean is...
Your parents and teachers want you to go to school for money...
Yup, you are a one stop money making bank....
That's wat you are...
Nothing else...
They may say that its for your own good but really...
Do you really want to live paycheck to paycheck doing nothing but keeping filthy notes and coins...
I mean when you die, you cant use it to buy your way out.

Not to mention the whole education system is totally corrupted...
People dont go there for knowledge anymore...
They go there cause its the only way to get a good job...
Did you notice that fewer people are coming up with intellectual breakthroughs...
Its cause people are so determined to get money all the time they dont bother in trying to make the world a better place...
Oh yeah to those who lie about how great the future will be....
Well you might want to think it over....

Time....

Some say that it was there before we came....
Some say it wasn't...
But everything has it's beginnings...
How it ends is just the enigma that hides in the thick bush...
What im talking about is time...
Something most people have....
Some...
Don't...
It can never be defined...
nor can it be more complex then it is....
Time can never be bought...
Can never be reasoned with...
..............
I wish i had more time....

Final Exam...

My Exam....
Sigh...
6.11.08 Titas 9.00 AM Dewan Besar
10.11.08 Programming 9.00 AM Dewan Besar
13.11.08 Math 2.30 PM Dewan Besar
16.11.08 Multimedia 2.30 PM PSZ
22.11.08 Stat 9.00 AM Dewan Besar

Just wanted to.....

There used to be a place, up on a hill, where i used to go to when i was in high school. I would climb a top that rocky hill and look down upon where i used to live. Then i would shout, with all my might, the things that was bothering me at that time. I would go there to relive all the stress that i've been saving up through the year.

I wish i could go there again and shout again. I would shout how much i screwed up this year, shout all the bad things i did, shout how much i missed Hunter, shout how much i loved him, and most important shout out how much i was sorry about all the pain i have caused to others.

I really wish i could go there again.....

About ADHD (Taken From Wikipedia hehehehe....)

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurobehavioral developmental disorder affecting about 3-5% of the world's population. It typically presents during childhood, and is characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness and inattention, with or without a component of hyperactivity. ADHD occurs twice as commonly in boys as in girls. ADHD is a chronic disorder with 5 to 12% of individuals diagnosed in childhood continuing to meet diagnostic criteria in adulthood. As they mature, adolescents and adults with ADHD are likely to develop coping mechanisms to compensate for their impairment.

Though previously regarded as a childhood diagnosis, studies completed during the last few decades have shown that ADHD often continues throughout adulthood - though generally with a reduction in hyperactivity. ADHD has a strong genetic component. Methods of treatment usually involve some combination of medications, behavior modifications, life style changes, and counseling. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that stimulant medications and/or behavior therapy are appropriate and generally safe treatments for ADHD. Long term safety of stimulants however has not been determined and drug treatment of pre-school children is not recommended. ADHD "is a controversial pediatric disorder despite being a well validated clinical diagnosis" This is because it is one of the most common childhood psychiatric disorders and stimulant medication has been shown to be the most effective way to treat symptoms.